I’ve always been one to follow the rules, do what I’m told, and generally be a “good girl”. When I was in high school and my cross country coach told us to run for 45 mins, I didn’t quit at 43. I ran the full 45. Yes, I was sure that those two minutes *really* mattered. Cutting corners has always been a major no-no in my book. I was one of the best because I never slacked.
I’ve been able to push through all sorts of pain and anguish to complete a run or a race. I’ve advanced my place and my standing through sweat, tears, and perseverance. However, I also fell. Crashing down from a proverbial pedestal is actually quite painful! And, in the years picking myself back up I’ve had to reassess what it means to fail, to slack off, and what real strength is.
I am half way through week 3 of weaning off Paxil. In a few more days I should be done with it. It was a rocky start, but withdrawal symptoms have leveled out. Despite some of the crazy dizziness, cramping, crying, and overall crummy feeling I was able to push on with my training. In fact, I feel like I may not have survived the weaning if I hadn’t been running through it! We’ve also had snow storm after snow storm just dumping feet of icy, cold yuck and frigid temps making breathing a special chore. Nonetheless, I got through the training. No excuses! No slacking! That marathon isn’t going to run itself!
I’m proud of the work I’ve put in so far. I’ve done well and I am getting stronger. To be honest though — I’m exhausted! I’ve overslept twice this week (completely missing the bus to school yesterday!) and my muscles have not be recovering like they usually do. I woke up this morning absolutely dreading the workout that lay ahead of me. I got the kids packed up for school, out the door, and onto the bus. As I ate some breakfast I went over the details of my workout. Warm up…10 mins at threshold pace…5x3mins at threshold pace…another 10 mins at pace….I just didn’t wanna! I tried to talk myself into it…just do it Mazy! My legs still ached from the two mile repeats from a few days ago. Yesterday’s recovery run didn’t recover my body. And I’m just.so.damned.tired. The more I thought about it, the more I realized I really needed a rest day.
I’ve given myself the day off! I will do the workout tomorrow (my scheduled day off) and bask in the gloriousness of NOT RUNNING TODAY. Am I slacking? My high school self would say yes, but guess what — she was stupid! Recovering my body will do more good for me than pushing through a run while fighting to hit (and probably miss) the pace. Being a fighter and pushing the limits is admirable, but so is being smart. My muscles need a chance to repair themselves. My mind needs a chance to recoup. I know I could hit the road, bust out some semi-descent repeats and be done with it, but I also know I’d be setting myself up for more exhaustion tomorrow, more soreness, and possibly degrading my immune system even further. So, I raise my mug of Yogi Muscle Recovery Tea and give a hearty three cheers for Rest Day!